Welcome!

You made a good choice.

Let me show you around.

Step 1 of 3

First, some information about this men's group. Is it for you?

Below, we describe what we are about, and ‘how we are’ in our regular Zoom meetings. At the end of this message there is a summary of the benefits of joining and our agreement with you.
 
Please read this message to the end, as there is a final step to take to join the Whysmen Virtual Pub!
 
Who are we?
We are a worldwide community of men that meets on Zoom, spanning all time zones, connecting men globally in conversations that matter to them.
 
Why do we do it?
We see a great purpose in building a community that connects men in conversations on issues that we need to have. By creating and ‘holding’ this confidential space, we build bridges and share differing perspectives. In doing so, we create opportunities for deeper understanding on issues we all share.
 
When do we meet?  How long is the meeting? Is regular attendance expected?
Meetings are held on different days and times in order to accommodate our world audience. They are either 60-minutes or 90-minutes long, depending on the facilitator’s schedule.
 
The groups are small sharing circles of no more than seven men. They are open to registered participants on a drop-in basis – come when you can! You are welcome to join multiple groups if you like.
 
There is no ongoing requirement to participate – it’s up to you – but we find that we get more out of the Virtual Pub by attending regularly, preferably on a weekly basis. If you can agree to commit to three months of weekly meetings as a minimum, that would be good. We may touch on deep and sensitive issues as the group gets to know each other, so time spent together is valuable.
 
How much does it cost?
You are welcome to come to meetings free of charge.
However, providing this service has associated costs, so one-time or regular monthly donations of any amount are also very welcome. There are orange donation buttons on the website. But don’t let this stop you coming if you prefer not to donate straight away!
 
Is a men's group for you?*
We live in a world of constant connectivity yet little real human connection. In my experience in over 25 years of interacting with men in men’s groups, the greatest benefit is that it allows men to participate in authentic relationships with other men. Our interactions provide participants with a window of truth in how we show up, an opportunity to receive truthful feedback on aspects of our lives, provide feedback to other men and to hear and be heard.
 
Ask yourself the following questions. If you answer ‘yes’ to them, this may be something that you can benefit from.

  • Are you willing to look at yourself honestly?
  • Are you open to learning about yourself?
  • Are you willing to accept feedback and to contribute feedback to the men in the group?

Intentions:

  • You will explore what it is to be a man
  • You may be challenged and may challenge other men
  • You will be held accountable
  • You will explore your shortcomings and find that you are not alone in being human
  • You will have an opportunity to connect with your life’s purpose and meaning
  • You will have fun

(*Adapted from "The Men's Group Field Guide, Brett Chumin, V 14)

Our agreements

(A copy of this agreement is in the member resources section of this website)

Once you are registered on the website, you have access to the Virtual Pubs and other material that is confidential. It is incumbent upon you to maintain confidences within the community. Infringements of confidentiality are taken very seriously and can result in exclusion from the community.

Community members are encouraged to attend regular Pub meetings. Failure to attend at least one meeting per month may lead to exclusion from the community. Should that happen, lapsed members are welcome to re-join the community at their convenience.

We agree that our Virtual Pub is:

  • Confidential and private - what's said in the room, stays in the room.
  • Speak personally, from the “I”- this is not a place for judgment or blame.
  • Authentic - we welcome and encourage vulnerability.
  • Trustworthy - we actively build trust together.
  • Non-judgemental - no unsolicited advice will be given & we give feedback only if asked.
  • Appreciative of all people - who they are and their contribution.
  • Respectful of all opinions - everyone's voice is valid.
  • A safe place to disagree.
  • Fun and friendly.

We strive to:

  • Be supportive.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be kind.
  • Be empathic.
  • Be encouraging.
  • Be focused.
  • Be open and honest.
  • Be friendly.
  • Be courageous.
  • Be equitable.
  • Go at our own pace.
  • Communicate clearly to the best of our abilities.
  • Allow for boundaries - our own, and each other's. We remember that these can change over time and that it is our responsibility to communicate this to others.

Zoom online meeting agreements

While we want as few rules as possible, there are some things that enhance the meeting experience for all, so we require that participants respect the following:

  • Good timekeeping - we start on time. Latecomers may not be able to enter the meeting.
  • Join from a private space.
  • Before joining the meeting ensure that you are comfortable and do not have to move (yourself or your camera/phone) while others are speaking.
  • Use headphones if you need them for privacy. No one else must be present in your space.
  • Switch off any other potentially distracting devices or make them inaccessible - focus on your screen - remain present.
  • Close or turn off your screen if someone comes into your private space, so other participants can’t be seen.
  • Please mute yourself when you are not speaking. This not only cuts down on background noise but it is a signal when you un-mute yourself that you are going to speak.
  • If you have to move around for any reason, wait until a man has finished speaking. Before you move, switch your camera off.
  • No use of Zoom chat unless asked to do so.
  • You are under no obligation to speak at any time.
  • Only interrupt a man speaking if you need clarity.
  • If a timer is not being used, please be mindful that this is a forum for all men to speak. The facilitator will show a hand if necessary, which will be a sign for you to wrap up.
  • Commit to staying for the whole meeting when possible.

 The call may be left open, by agreement, at the end of the meeting if men wish to remain and continue the conversation.

Your next step
 
If you are happy to continue and register as a member of The Whysmen Virtual Pub, click the button below. Clicking the button signifies your confirmation of your agreement with the content of this message.

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