Connecting men 

in conversations that matter

We are a worldwide community of men that meets face-to-face on Zoom.


We provide a safe place, among friends, where you will hear and be heard, and where you can ask for support should you need it.


Discover a true community in a world where so many of us feel isolated, even among friends, colleagues and family.


Express concerns that you may not feel comfortable discussing elsewhere, confidentially, with good, empathic men. 

Global perspective

Step outside the box, meet men from different nations and cultures, broaden your horizons and gain fresh perspectives.

Hi, I'm Paul McCarthy and I'm looking forward to welcoming you into our community.

The Whysmen is a volunteer-led community, creating safe online drop-in spaces for men worldwide to meet and talk, be authentic about their lives, and share what really matters.

It's a serious place, a loving space, a get-to-know-you space, a place to have some fun and share in the wisdom that a global community can provide.

You can drop into any meeting . There is no ongoing attendance commitment, but we think you’ll enjoy it here and want to visit often.

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Would you like to find out more before you join us? Come to one of our weekly Open House events for a 30-minute introductory chat with me, Paul McCarthy.

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Why do we do it?

Our dream is to make the world a better place for our children and grandchildren, and that requires creating a safe space where men can connect globally, with honesty, integrity and respect.

We carry the hope that through connection and belonging, men will gain a greater understanding of one another and the realization that we share more in common than what makes us different.

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We have a situation with men's communication...

The Whysmen Virtual Pub is a valuable place where men can chat, laugh, be vulnerable, be honest and hone our communication skills  - and I am honoured to be a part of it.

Matthew Temple is a Whysmen Virtual Pub facilitator

find a weekly Virtual Pub to suit your time zone
Attend regular, worldwide themed events

Since time began, men have got together to shoot the breeze, discuss important issues, learn from each other and have fun!

Ironically, in a world of constant connectivity, we are often more isolated from each other than ever.

The Whysmen Virtual Pub is a place where that valuable tradition of connection is continued.

To keep it intimate, and to ensure that each man has a good length of time to talk in each one and a half hour weekly session, each pub has no more than seven men. As we grow, new pubs will be initiated and guided by trained facilitators.